Monday, 5 April 2010

All So Unfair

Here is a picture of a nice, helpful, proficient nurse being spanked (at - go and have a look!). It's fair enough really, she forgot to wear her hat. She had to put it on again before she got spanked, naturally.

Now, I suppose you could argue that it's a bit harsh to use corporal punishment for such a minor infringement of rules, but I didn't feel as though I was being abused. However, I have been thinking recently about my emotional comfort zones relating to CP roleplay. The reason for this is that when I go to spanking shoots, it's very easy to establish ground rules about some things (like levels of nudity, severity, and payment) but awfully tricky to negotiate the more subtle elements of the planned scenes.

So, these days, I turn up at my CP shoots safe in the knowledge that the following;-

1) Tops who know what they're doing

2) Clean implements

3) Safewords

4) Respectful, non-gyno camera angles

will be in place. Mainly because the people I work with now are lovely, and wouldn't dream of allowing anything dangerous or distasteful to happen.

However, I find it much, much harder to establish emotional limits. I think this is partly because they're too subtle for me to express properly without sounding like a diva. For example, here's a list of things I've found upsetting/a bit yukky during various CP shoots;-

a) a 'headmaster' who tried to touch my breasts. Hmmmm. Easy to avoid in future by insisting that school scenes have to be strictly disciplinary and non-sexual (which I thought everyone already knew anyway, TBH)

b) a 'teacher' who continually called me stupid (bad teaching, I think!) Which was much trickier to know how to deal with, for me. I didn't like being called stupid, I felt as though he was calling me, the ACTRESS stupid, rather than my character (poor chap probably REALLY wasn't). And since my poor character had to keep making mistakes in order to let the scene continue, I started to feel rather annoyed. But on another occasion, with a different actor, I was totally happy to be called stupid a lot; and just rather enjoyed feeling like a martyr. So I can't actually tell people the word 'stupid' is off limits, because it isn't really.

c) having my bottom rubbed in between smacks in school or domestic, non-sexual scenes. It just seems a bit odd, and rather salacious, frankly. Obviously if it's a romantic, husband/wife or consenting-adults kind of scene then it can look (and feel) perfectly normal. But if I'm meant to be hating the spanking, and the Top isn't meant to be enjoying administering it, then it feels a bit ikky. Again, really tricky to explain without sounding rude, stand-offish and rather prudish.

d) suddenly being directed to act aroused by the spanking. Again, I'm totally fine with that in the right scenario - it seems like a nice, and truthful thing to show. But in a scene where the Top is meant to be angry with me, it would look and feel really emotionally miss-matched if I started writhing round in ecstasy, surely? Urgh, a bit complicated to express, because I'm actually happy with being upset at being punished, or delighted by being spanked, but not all in one scene.

e) Being asked to say things which I think sound lame, and/or contrived. I like to maintain control over the things my character says. Which, frankly, IS rather diva-ish, and isn't a privilege I could have hoped to enjoy while I was a mainstream actress. But because CP films demand a fair amount of effort from their actors in terms of improvisation, the diva part of me feels that with the extra responsibility for carrying the story should come the extra power of veto-ing lines that don't feel right for the character I'm playing. Therefore my Naval Officers will never bleat 'ohhh, Sir, not on my BARE bottom!' my spoilt Wives won't clench their jaws and vow 'I'll never tell, you'll have to kill me first' and my Schoolgirls will never purr 'oooh, Sir, you're making me feel really hot.....' Because I say so.
The complexity is added to by the fact that, from time to time, I very much enjoy shooting very weird stuff. The following;-
Being flogged for being a witch even though I WASN'T
Enduring a judicial caning for drug smuggling when I was innocent
Being repeatedly called a stupid girl by my wicked uncle who didn't understand women's rights
Being WOKEN UP, spanked and caned by my private tutor who didn't think much of my understanding of structural engineering
Receiving an 18 stroke caning from the BDM last night just because he FELT like it
all seemed perfectly fair, fun and reasonable. Not forgetting the nurse who didn't like wearing her hat.
My only defence (and I need one, at least for myself) is that spanking modelling has always been something I do primarily for fun, as a kind of present to myself between more mainstream modelling jobs. So, although one should probably be prepared to take the rough with the smooth at work; perhaps it's also OK to have some guidelines that are nothing to do with health and safety.